Why only nine groups of fans, you ask? Continue reading and then add a tenth. I know everyone has a few suggestions.

There is certainly a lot of vitriol amongst many music fans, especially those who follow any particular artist religiously. I'm talking about the people who brag about how many times they've seen a band live, when they first got into the band, how they caught Robert Smith's eyeliner after a concert, or how they caught chlamydia from Tommy Lee. These fans exist in every city, but the artists they worship and emulate can vary. For example, I'm sure a Bon Jovi fan can make any civilized person with a 21st century haircut from Philly or New Jersey lose their cool just as a person from Seattle can become angry when asked about Nirvana. Being from a musically diverse city like Los Angeles, there are many music scenes that can be particular to this town. With that said and in no particular order, here are the nine most annoying fans of any artist or genre.

Marilyn Manson Fans

I've seen Marilyn Manson in interviews with Bill O'Reilly and many other conservative pundits who have tirelessly tried to break him and his beliefs and every time he comes out on top. He is such an intelligent person who speaks very eloquently. There are many beliefs I share with the man (thorough proof and citation needed regarding his gender). But can his fans please stop it? By "it" I mean everything! Stop dressing like him, stop acting like him, stop wearing those hideous platform shoes, and stop shooting up schools and leaving your Marilyn Manson discography next to your suicide note! The man already gets a bad rap for his risque antics, now he's being falsely accused of propagating teen violence. If you are misunderstood, see a professional, not Mechanical Animals.

Classic Rock Elitists

If you were born in the 80s, you cannot be a classic rock elitist! The only correlation you and that genre can possibly have is that your parents met at an Iron Maiden concert and got hammered nine months before your birth. That's it. I love Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, and even a little Motorhead (until trying to make out what "Lemmy" Kilmister is trying to say becomes a tiring chore), but they are not musicians from my era. As much as everyone likes to complain about new musicians, there are actually good ones out there. But it's like a landfill because you have to dig through all the garbage. Some of these artists are overrated, prima donnas who geniuinely feel like they are royalty and you are a filthy peasant. Keep defending them, buying their merchandise, and going to their half-hearted live shows to maintain the hierarchy.

Phish fans/Deadheads

Although I'm a peaceful person and these dudes are all about peace, these two bands have an ironic effect on my temper; they make me wanna lose it. Put some shoes on and stop playing in the mud, Willow, you're thirty-five. Get off the acid, put on a tie, and go get a job. There's nothing worse than a grown man with a woven satchel kicking his hacky-sack with his Jesus sandals while normal people are contributing to society. These guys make Al Gore wanna run to the Amazon with a chainsaw and the cast from Ax Men. These people are setting the fight against global climate change behind by years.

Male Morrissey Fans

Why would I segregate among an artist's fans sexually? Because I would like them to know they will never be like him no matter which hair dresser they go to. You'll just look like a giant pompous ass. There are few things in life I hate more than someone telling me what to do as an adult. The devil's advocate in me wants me want to go to a Morrissey concert and bite off a California Condor's head while wearing a fur coat and a KFC t-shirt. Just let me eat my damn Whopper and I'll look past your flamboyant lifestyle.

Rockabilly/Psychobilly Fans

Why buy an economic Toyota and wear hairspray on your hair when you can buy a primered 1951 Hudson Hornet that takes 15 minutes to warm up and wear petroleum jelly on your head? And while you're at it, get yourself tattoos depicting a deck of playing cards, spider webs on your elbows, some dice, and a phrase about your lack of luck. This is probably the most pretentious group on this list. And the worse thing is that, unlike most of the artists on this list, Rockabilly music sucks. Again, this is another group that likes to complain about the times they are living in and romanticize the past. There are many minorities here in the Los Angeles area who yearn for the old Rockabilly days without knowing they would likely be excluded from the scene due to the racial tensions of those times. Promote reading.

Punk Rock Fans

I've been a fan of The Clash and the Sex Pistols for years. I love how they stuck it to royalty and I love the essence of Punk Rock and how it came to be. But this genre has had so many spin-off imitators who have disregarded the message and turned Punk Rock into glam metal, at least for its vain fashion sense. This genre has very little to salvage because it is essentially dead. In order to better understand what I mean, go on Youtube and search for a Casualties concert and watch it as you imagine Johnny Rotten spinning in his grave (wait, I think he's still alive). None of their songs are about fighting any sort of system or sticking it to anyone. They are all generic, let's-tear-sh**-up types of songs. They're all recycled imitations. The problem with that is you can't recycle garbage. Every group on this list are conformists, but these guys constantly preach against conforming to the norm. All they talk about is anarchy and how they're anarchists and they tell people to be anarchists without knowing a lick about anarchy. Long story short: PUNK IS DEAD.

Beatles Fans

I have no problem pissing people off by antagonizing, but what I'm about to say is not about antagonizing anyone for the sake of antagonizing, it is something I truly believe: The Beatles are one of the most over-rated artists in modern music history. They are a very good band and I see how they were innovative and influential for decades to come, but the what really irks me is how they are credited for 90% of today's music (uneducated guess). I'm sure there are people out there who credit them for the sky being blue. By that logic, music today would be deader than baseball had these four shaggy-haired scousers not crossed the pond. Highly dubious. The fact is that a music revolution had been itching to invade America before they were discovered. Yes, they were innovative; yes, they were talented; yes, they revolutionized many aspects of the music industry; and yes, they are legendary, but they were also timely beneficiaries of their period. That's right, they were lucky. And that is what upsets me. I actually like The Beatles, but music would still be here without them. Ipods, cell phones, and laptops would've still existed. The world would not have spun off its axis and you and I would've still existed. That's right, The Beatles are not God.

Emo Kids

Go on Google Images and type in "Black Veil Brides." Their fans dress just like them. This is perhaps the only genre on this list that we can all agree on.

ICP Juggalos

I know I said these fans were in no particular order, but here's a reason I put them here: they are the most annoying fans in all of music! Insane Clown Posse is a duet of badass, hardcore hip-hop clowns from Detroit who talk about big money hustlin' and have stage names such as "Violent J" and "Shaggy 2 Dope." Very in-your-face, right? Oh, and they were signed to Walt Disney's music label. Yet, they have sold over 6.5 million albums to people who paint their faces with clown make-up. I guess the freaks do come out at night.

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